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Fashion Police: Camo-Fashion - Dress Slim, Drop 20, Look Gorgeous!

Vodda Kameleon

If you are tall, slim, and gorgeous, go back to www.lokvani.com, and for the rest of you, mere mortals, "Welcome..."

As they say, "'tis the season". The season for what, you ask? The season to forget all those good and healthy habits developed over the past year. Mind you, I speak for myself only. Surely, you have been very well behaved and totally ignored your good host/hostess, vainly attempting to force unnecessary, extra calories on you. I on the other hand, gave in. Completely.

Obviously, I have good genes! They are determined to keep me going. No amount of starvation will keep the fat off. Evolution or not, my body still thinks I have to eke an existence foraging and hunting and is determined to store every passing calorie. My 'diet' strategy now, is based on illusion. It must work since I was asked two nights ago how I had lost weight, when in fact, I have gained yet another kilo!!

Here's what I have determined over many years of trials and many more mistakes. The first thing to do is take a good look at your self. What are your good points? Do you have nice legs? A small waist? Slim arms? Beautiful eyes? Shiny hair? These are what you are going to emphasize. The second thing is to determine what actually suits you, and forget what the latest fashion mavens say you should wear. For this a good, honest friend would be invaluable. Mind you, the key word there is honest. Your best pal who always thinks you look great won't cut it!

Let's work on the whole look. Here are three rules I would advocate for pretty much anyone... stay away from loud, large patterns. Why? Precisely because they are loud and large, and on you, would make you look loud and large. Secondly, those straight, wide 'palazzo' pants make those of us who are even slightly lacking in the height department and not quite perfectly proportioned widthwise look wide and short. Lastly, stay away from those white pantyhose, stick to naturals, browns, or blacks.

To create an illusion of height and stop the eye traveling across you, wear the same color or shades of the same color, all the way up from your feet to your neckline. Keep the 'vertical line' continuous on your body, for example, by wearing black trousers, with either a black or dark grey blouse or jacket. If you do not want to wear a jacket, choose your trousers and blouse in, either the same color, similar shades or the same color, or similar values of brightness. You can add interest by wearing a colored or printed blouse, a scarf, chunky jewelry or an eye-catching pin. Force the viewer's eye toward your most flattering aspects.

Darker colors tend to recede and so are great for 'hiding' faults. Force the viewer's eye toward your flattering aspects. To 'hide' large hips, wear darker pants, trousers and skirts. To pull the eye to your lovely long neck, wear a pretty scarf, or wear an open neckline and a necklace. Be careful with checks and plaids. Be sure they are of a size you can carry off, in other words, small. The same goes for clothes with horizontal lines. Safer to stick with vertical lines or pin-stripes.

To camouflage a not too tiny waist, give the belts a miss. If you must wear one, match the color to your pants or skirt. Similarly, tops and dresses that have a band of color across the waist area pull the eye in that direction. Be sure that is where you want your viewer's eye to end up!! Better to have a band of color across the chest or shoulders.

Tight clothes emphasize the fit, or non-fit, as the case may be. You do not want to look as if you are ready to burst out of your clothes and this is the impression tight clothes give. Truly, I understand the pain of buying clothes in a larger size, but believe me, you are not doing yourself a favor by squeezing into tight clothes, unless you are sixteen and a size 4! Get that larger size for now, and work on getting back to your former svelte self. Think about it, if your choli has loose sleeves, you will give the impression you have lost weight.

Make sure your hairstyle suits you, and learning how to take care of it. Blow-drying doesn't have to take hours. Consider heated rollers. Yes, I have read the articles in women's magazines that tell you how to do your make-up in 20 minutes instead of 40. If you take the time to figure out what make-up you really need... eyeliner? Kajal? Lip color? Pressed powder? You can do it in seconds. Try on glasses in different shapes to determine which suit you the best. Two-inch heels are very comfortable and who can sneeze at the leg length they will give you. If you like to, by all means, go for the higher heels!

How about cleaning out your wardrobe. Make some space for new flattering clothes! Go through everything and get rid of those that are unflattering, totally out of fashion, or old and worn out. You certainly don't want to look like mutton dressed up as lamb, so make sure your clothes reflect and compliment your age. That's right, no pinafores and short socks!! If you really adore chunky plaids, get over it by wearing them at home when you don't care how you look!

I have this tendency when shopping, to head straight for the clearance racks! This one I learned the hard way. It is no bargain unless you wear it and enjoy it. Resist! Resist! If it is not really 'you', walk away, even though it is at half the original price, reduced another 75% and you have a coupon!!

(Vodda Kameleon aka P.John, is a little like a chameleon herself. She dresses slim, eats right and lives with her family and beloved pooch, Jerry, in Concord, MA> )

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