I went on vacation last week. What a week it was. Only rained twice - once for three days, once for four.
A holidaymaker was complaining to his landlady about his room. 'Look. This wall's so thin you can almost see through it.'
'That's not a wall,' she replied, 'it's the window.'
A man arrived at his holiday guest-house and met the landlady.
'Can you sing?' she snapped.
'No,' he replied.
'Well, you'd better learn quickly. There's no lock on the bathroom door.'
A lady aboard a cruise ship was not impressed by the jazz trio in one of the shipboard restaurants. When her waiter came around, she asked, "Will they play anything I ask?"
"Of course!" replied the waiter.
"Then tell them to go play chess!"
Man to Ticket Agent: “I want to buy a plane ticket for Norwald... for a vacation, you know...!”
Ticket Agent, searching book: "Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see... Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find it on the map. Just where is Norwald anyway?"
Man: “Over there. He's my brother!”
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