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Laugh A While


  • I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
  • I found a lion in my closet the other day! When I asked what it was doing there, it said “Narnia business.”
  • What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
  • Why did the snail paint a giant S on his car? So when he drove by, people could say: “Look at that S car go!”
  • What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
  • What subject do cats like best in school? Hiss-tory.
  • Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. He said his summer was pretty good too.
  • My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
  • How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
  • Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it's just water.
  • Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
  • Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.
  • What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator? Don't hate me because I'm a little cooler.

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