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Laugh A While


  1. If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
  2. It’s not how good your work is, it’s how well you explain it.
  3. Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
  4. The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
  5. Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
  6. Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
  7. I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.
  8. I like my job only marginally more than I like being homeless.
  9. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
  10. The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
  11. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
  12. There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
  13. With a calendar, your days are numbered.
  14. A hard thing about a business is minding your own.
  15. I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
  16. Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.
  17. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
  18. All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.
  19. It’s not who you know, it’s whom you know.
  20. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  21. I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.

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