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Laugh A While


09/12/2008

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly Neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
 
The winners are:
 
1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach

4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which a woman absent-mindedly answers the door in her nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavoured mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline

11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question in an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.

--
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.



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