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Jokes, Jokes, Jokes


07/23/2007

ONE cold autumn night, we sat comfortable and warm in our living room listening to the weather report. My brother dreamily asked, "I wonder what the temperature is in Florida?" I added, "I wonder what it is in Hawaii!" My grandfather grumpily asked, "I wonder what it is in Fahrenheit!"

HAVING always lived in Toronto, Anne was puzzled by this weather forecast she heard on the radio soon after moving to the West Coast: "Rain in the morning turning to showers in the afternoon."

DURING a blizzard, I was crawling along in a line of cars on the local highway. Visibility was limited to a few meters, and I rolled my window down to see what was delaying us.

Ahead, a police car with a flashing light was pulled up beside two cars with crumpled bumpers locked. Before them stood a rugged young policeman in shirt sleeves, efficiently signaling us around the wreck with a red flashlight. As I drew near, the window of a car going the opposite way rolled down, and a middle-aged woman thrust out her head.

"Jo-Jo! Put on your jacket!" she commanded.

The young officer winced.

"Aw, Mom!" he protested. But seeing the determined set of her mouth, he reluctantly reached into his patrol car and drew out his trooper's jacket.

IN EARLY spring, while still experiencing unusually severe winter weather, I went to the grocery store for my weekly shopping. On my way home I noticed a number of drivers slow down to read a sign on a service station billboard. In bold black letters on a bright yellow background were the words, THINK SPRING. I chuckled as I skidded and slid along the road home.

Two weeks later, the forecast was still gloomy - snow, and more snow. While driving by the same service station, I noticed one word had been added to the sign. It now read: THINK SPRING - HARDER.



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