·        Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end &  a fool on the other.

·        Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

·        Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

·        Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

·        Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

·        Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

·        Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

·        Divorce :  Future tense of marriage.

·        Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

·        Etc. :  A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

·        Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

·        Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

·        Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

·        Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

·        Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

·        Father : A banker provided by nature.

·        Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

·        Doctor : A person who kills your ills with pills, and kills you with his bills.

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