The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen, Without Feathers (1976)

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen, Without Feathers(1976)

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
    Woody Allen

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody Allen

All men are mortal.
Socrates was mortal.
Therefore, all men are Socrates.
Woody Allen

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