A Jolly Good Time!
By Premi John

Bride and Prejudice is a musical farce…  a take on the average, run-of-the-mill Bollywood film.  That may not have been the director’s original intention, but that certainly is the end result.  The story is fantastic and unlikely, given the setting, India!  If you are looking for reality this is not the movie for you, likewise if you are a Bollywood music fan.  If on the other hand, you are looking for something other than the standard cinema fare, and are in the mood for some light entertainment, something upbeat and energetic, this is the movie to watch.

Much more so than many Hollywood musicals, Bride and Prejudice is an explosion of color and song, especially color.  Based on Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, the story follows the antics of an Indian family with a mother (Nadira Babbar) desperately trying to find husbands for her four daughters.  The central character is Lalitha (Aishwarya Rai) who does not immediately fall in love with Will Darcy (Martin Henderson), because he is an American snob, or does she? 

The very first musical piece in this movie is a fantastic dance production in which Balraj (Navin Andrews), who has just arrived from England is able to fit right in and dance a perfectly choreographed number with the rest of the guys and girls in the crowd at a wedding.  If you can accept that in a Bollywood movie, you don’t need to make an exception here.  Also, don’t miss the pathetic but hilarious 'No Life Without Wife' number, in which all four of the ‘girls’ ridicule a prospective bridegroom… this could be straight out of The Sound of Music!  It is all about the right attitude folks.  If the songs don’t appeal, take in the costumes and sets, which are continuously eye boggling.

I couldn’t tear my eyes from Maya’s (Meghna Kothari) crazy Snake Dance, performed while everyone else was enjoying their evening tea, or some such.  This will surely bring back memories of the time you too have fallen victim to the dreaded, “You must hear my daughter play ‘Sayonara’ on the violin,” assault.  Of course, in true Bollywood form, this common occurrence is depicted slightly over the top.  However, that presentation really brings to the fore the mother’s desperation.  I cringed in sympathy with the dancer, even though she herself seemed quite unembarrassed.  Even pleased with herself.

Come to think of it, everyone in this movie seemed to be having a jolly good time and one just has to buy in.  This film doesn’t have time to be boring as it covers a so many likely and many more unlikely situations, all over three continents.  Lighten up folks and don’t take it personally.  This is not a course in Indian culture.  It’s a movie, not a speech at the U.N.  By the way, anyone who will praise Moulin Rouge but not Bride and Prejudice needs to revisit their pretensions.
Note: Apparently the Hindi version is 11 minutes longer than the English version.  Go figure.



May the Twain never meet!!
By Chitra Parayath

If cultural hybridization was Chaddha’s intent, god forbid the twain then ever meet!
‘Bride and Prejudice’ starring Aishwarya Rai, Martin Henderson, Namrata Shirodkar among others, is a sure recipe for a headache. Side effects also include severe nausea, depression, hair loss and blurry vision!
Sloppy direction, terrible acting (or hamming in the case of veteran stage actor Nadira Babbar and actor Nitin Ganatra) and an implausible plot plague this unfortunate venture from start to finish.

Based on Jane Austen’s (oft translated to celluloid) novel, ‘Pride and Prejudice’, Chaddha’s version “Bride and Prejudice- Balle Balle Amritsar to LA, is an affront to poor Austen’s memory and to the average Bollywod movie viewer’s intelligence.

Nadira Babbar plays Mrs. Bakshi, a Punjabi mother, so keen to see her four daughters hitched off that she sounds more like the madam of a brothel than a loving parent! The daughters are flawless beauties; there is the intellectual Lalita (Ash, in her new snippy avatar, see her on Letterman?), the vacant Jaya (Shirodkar as a mindless, gutless, sniveling nincompoop), Lucky (Peeya Rai Chaudhuri, as flighty fluff) and Maya  (Meehan Kothari, a talented dancer and show -off) There is also Anupam Kher as Mr. Bakshi, who it seems does not approve of his wife’s maneuverings but (sigh!) goes along with every scheme of hers to keep the peace. Oh, Puh- lease!

Into the picture come American William Darcy (a dapper though bland as lettuce Martin Henderson) along with pal Balraj (Naveen Andrews, totally wasted here) and his bitchy sister. While Andrews begins to woo Shirodkar, Ash catches Henderson’s attention. They argue, they fight, they part, then, (yaaaawn) they meet again. The four-some go to Goa for a vacation and out pops from the sea, sans clothes, rippling Johnny Wickham (Daniel Gillies, blander than lettuce)

Now, our flinty eyed heroine Ash, who seems to eyes only for firangi hunks, takes kindly to this one as Henderson tries to glower in the background.
Meanwhile an “Amrika returned’ NRI (over-played irritatingly by Nitin Ganatra) arrives in Amritsar to wed Ash. His over the top mannerisms would put Jonny Lever’s antics to shame but he appeals to Ash’s pal who decides to marry him, claiming that he has a good heart.

For Ganatra alone, Chadhdha deserves a big fat ‘F’, he is so loud, so B-grade material that one wonders what the she was on when she created this character.

Ash, her sisters and mom  travel to London and LA to attend the wedding, while in LA Ash meets Henderson, his sister and his mom and gets a teeny peek into his white-as snow heart. But another misunderstanding arises and they part.

By then, the viewer is beyond caring if they ever set eyes on each other…
 In the meantime, Shirodkar is moping around waiting for the totally uncharismatic Andrews to come and claim her.

Ash and her family wake up one day to realize that the fluffy one among them has run away with Wickham who is actually a cad. Now Henderson and Ash run on the streets in London and find the couple in a couple of minutes. You see, they know exactly where to look, London has only two streets, right?
The girl comes home, mama hugs her, tells her that Shirodkar is engaged to be married to the by-now-utterly-bored  Andrews, the girl runs in to hug her sister. The parents act as though it is all part of an ordinary day and all’s well that ends so obviously!
Spoiler alert - there is a double wedding in the mandap and as a constipated looking Ash waves at the folks on the street atop an elephant, poor Henderson clutches the pachyderm's sides looking a little green around the gills.
As for the songs and dances…the less said the better!
What utter rubbish! Even the worst Bollywood flicks make more sense than this piece of celluloid waste!

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