About Us Contact Us Help


Archives

Contribute

 

Jokes - Holy Matrimony

Compiled by Chitra
02/23/2005

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."

Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."

Johnson: "But I want you to."

Wife: "But why?"

Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"

How have times changed?
In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar.

Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, since it was pay-day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?!?"

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.

"Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers."

To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone."

A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach.

The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, told him, "If you wish to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."




Bookmark and Share | Share your Comments

Comments :
Post a new message

In this Issue
SABA Presents Conference On India & Its Neighbors


South Asian Business Association (SABA) presents the 2nd Annual Conference: "India and its Neighbors" at Harvard Business School on February 27, 2005 with keynote talks by Azim Premji and Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw.
[more]

SABA Presents Conference On India & Its Neighbors
Book Review - Maximum City By Suketu Mehta


This tapestry of tales is his ode to his beloved city Bombay, at once exasperating, exhilarating and like no other metropolis.
[more]

Book Review - Maximum City By Suketu Mehta
For The Mathematically Inclined


Congratulations to Sandeep Bansal, Mahesh Danke, Srikanth Gopalan, Nidhee Krishnan, Swathi Krishnan, Hareesh Mehta, Mahesh Murali, Sarthak Pani, Preeti Rangaraj, Arun Saigal, Neha Sharma, Ramya Tammisetti and Manan Thakkar, who were winners of the last set of puzzles. Here is one puzzle for kids and one for adults.
[more]

For The Mathematically Inclined
Youth Corner : A Poem Of Hope - Tsunami


Young Lokvani readers, Shruti Balasuryan and Varsha Kannan express their feelings in this touching poem.
[more]

Youth Corner : A Poem Of Hope - Tsunami
Gayathri Parivar Celebrates Vasant Panchami


A congregation of about 500 devotees participated in a joyous spiritual celebration of "Vasant Panchami" on February 12th, 2005 at the Satsang Center in Woburn.
[more]

Gayathri Parivar Celebrates Vasant Panchami

You may also access this article through our web-site http://www.lokvani.com/




Home | About Us | Contact Us | Copyrights Help