I've got a great library joke, but it's checked out right now.

I can put you on hold for it if you'd like?

You know the tallest building in our community, right? It’s our library, because it has the most stories! 

A man goes into a library and say "CAN I HAVE FISH AND CHIPS PLEASE?"

"Sir, this is a library"

"Oh, sorry" whispers "can I have fish and chips please?"

Where do you find Bigfoot? In the large print section.

How does a librarian flirt? By asking for your call number.