What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little horse.

• What did one hat say to the other?

You wait here. I’ll go on a head.

• What do you call a magic dog?

A labracadabrador.

• What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

This tastes a little funny.

• What’s orange and sounds like a carrot?

A parrot.

• Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

• What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye matey.

• Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away.

• What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?

Bison.

• What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?

The space bar.

• Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?

Because it was cultured.

• What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code.

• Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

• Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He drank the coffee before it was cool.