"What does the word "contemplate" mean?" the college student asked his English professor.  "Think about it" - the professor answered.  "Ugh" the student groaned, "Can't you just tell me?"

---------------------------------------------------------------- 

A man is on trial for armed robbery.  The jury comes back with the verdict.  The foreman stands, clears his throat and announces, "Not Guilty."  the defendant leaps to his feet.  "Awesome!"  he shouts.  "Does that mean I get to keep the money?"     

-----------------------------------------------------------

 "I think my goldfish is having a seizure," a man tells the veterinarian.  "He seems fine now." says the vet. 

 "Now, sure. But wait until I take him out of the bowl."

---------------------------------------------------------

The other day I was thinking, "I must be the most unobservant person in the world."  Then I thought, "Well maybe other people are equally unobservant and I just haven't noticed before.  

Compiled from RD

|