Employment Standards determined a small woodworking shop owner was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

"Well, there's Jake my finisher who's been with me for 3 years, I pay him $900 a week.

The apprentice Tom has been here for 6 months, and I pay him $500 a week.

Then there's the half-wit that works here about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 a week and I buy him a case of beer every Friday," replied the owner.

"That's the guy I want to talk to; the half-wit," says the agent."

The owner says, "That would be me."

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Buford walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. 
Buford said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. 

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked Buford what he had. Buford said, "Shingles." So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Buford to wait in the examining room. 

A half-hour later a nurse came in and asked Buford what he had. Buford said, "Shingles." So she gave Buford a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told Buford to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. 

An hour later the doctor came in and asked Buford what he had. Buford said, "Shingles." 
The doctor said, Where?" Buford said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want 'em?"

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