Why did the artist break up with his model? He just wasn’t drawn to her anymore.

I asked the museum guard if I could take a selfie with the Monet. He said, “You can’t have your art and Instagram it too.”

Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he didn’t have an ear for music.

I told my friend my art history degree was a Monet-maker, she said it was more of a Dali dream.

Why was the Renaissance artist so calm? He knew how to keep his composure.

Picasso was a terrible driver, he kept taking Cubist turns.

Why can’t you ever trust an Impressionist? Because they always blur the details.

My love life is like a Matisse: lots of cut-outs and bold moves, but still a little abstract.

I’d tell you a joke about Jackson Pollock, but it’s all over the place.