My gardener talked to me about edible herbs I can grow
It was sage advice.

Did you hear about the gardener who went crazy?
He was hearing voices in his shed

I stood in my garden early yesterday morning wondering where the sun had gone
Then it dawned on me.

So my neighbor sees me kneeling down, busy in my garden and asks what I'm doing
"I'm putting all my plants in alphabetical order"
"Really?! I don't know how you find the time!"
"It's right next to the sage"

I started growing some fungi in my garden, but it failed miserably
I guess there is mushroom for improvement

I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from garden.
I was raking it in

A friend perfected his garden flower beds through a process of trowel and error

Yet again, someone has added more soil to my allotment
The plot thickens...

What is the gardener's favourite novel?
War and Peas

A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water
I think he meant well

Why did the gardener quit?
His celery wasn't high enough

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi