A Bad Dream?

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year’s Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present.

What do you think it all means?”

“Aha, you’ll know tonight,” answered Max, smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the new year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her a small package. Delighted and excited, she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book titled, The Meaning of Dreams.

Football or Food

As in many homes on New Year’s Day, Janet and Jim, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important—the football game on television or the
special meal.

Hoping to keep the peace, Jim ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat before retiring to the lounge to turn on the television.
Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how he was. She even graciously brought him a cold beer. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek, and asked what the score was. Jim told her
it was halftime and that the score was still 0–0.

“See?” Janet said happily. “You didn’t miss a thing.”

Q: Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?
A: Waiting for the punchline.

Q: What did the ghost say on January 1st?
A: Happy Boo Year.

Q: What’s a cow’s favourite holiday?
A: Moo Year’s Eve.

Q: What’s a digital camera’s New Year’s resolution?
A: 1080p.

Q: Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve?
A: Times Square.

Q: Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
A: To start off the new year in a cool way.

Q: What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?
A: I haven’t seen you for a year!

Q: What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?
A: He got 12 months!

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