His Voice
by Rima Pande

His Voice is the author’s journey into her father’s mind, to become his voice and capture his unspoken thoughts and emotions during the two years he was paralyzed, bedridden and unable to speak, thoughtfully dealing with a crisis where he has lost complete control of his life. This first person narrative of his state  of mind during those two years is interspersed with memories of key life experiences that shaped him as a person.

Rima’s father had two successive strokes within a month, leaving him paralyzed and unable to speak or communicate in any manner. For two years, her mother served him, supported by amazing family, friends and helpers. She set a positive, respectful, uplifting, happy tone in the house and in my father’s room, and everyone followed her lead. He was surrounded by people, music, conversation - what the book editor calls the “circle of love and care”. They stared at the constantly changing expressions on his face for clues - was he too hot, too cold, in pain, hungry, uncomfortable, attentive, tired, sleepy, somewhat happy - maybe? They looked into his eyes, searching for direction, pretending to understand what he would like, doing it, and then searching for an imperceptible nod of approval, which wasn’t always there. When he slept, Rima often sat and looked at his face, wondering what was going through his mind, imagining the flow of thought, trying to immerse myself in his stream of consciousness.

Every ordinary person has an extraordinary, unique and interesting life story. This is one such story. This story makes the reader a fellow traveler by placing them into the mind of a person facing a monumental crisis. The tone of the book is thoughtful, positive, calm, never depressing. Despite the gravity of the situation, the book is not heavy reading - it never descends into “jarring sentimentality”.

Rima’s personal goal in sharing this story is to draw attention to the challenges associated with aging and disability, the immense physical, mental and emotional load of caregiving, and how important it is to think about healthcare decisions holistically - and do so from the patient’s point of view.

His Voice is about 3 Rs - Respect, Resilience, Realism. First and foremost, respect - how important it is to maintain the dignity of a person who is in a helpless state. In such situations, we also need immense resilience as we work with what life throws at us without breaking down. We also need a dose of realism, understanding that effort may not always yield the results one hopes for, while not giving up. And a 4th R - His Voice is about relationships - spousal commitment, the parent-child bond, and family support.

The author hopes that readers will pause, acknowledge and appreciate the key relationships in their life, and think about how they view and interact with people who are not fully functional. And help anyone who has gone through, is currently going through or may face crisis situations, which unfortunately many of us do and are very unprepared for.

For more information on buying options, reviews, news and events, please visit https://www.hisvoice.life/

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