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Laugh A While


I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in,

it says “The Titanic is syncing.”


How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it


Will glass coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen


It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs,

because they always take things literally


What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter


Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favourite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”


Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu - you get what you deserve


I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday,

but couldn't find any


What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?

A maybe


I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.

I lost my case


When everything is coming your way,

you're in the wrong lane


She had a photographic memory,

but never developed it


Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?

I don't know and don't really care


Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other,

"how do you drive this thing?"


The guy who invented the door knocker,

got a no-bell prize


I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought:

“That’s the last thing I need!”


Need an ark?

I Noah guy


I used to be indecisive;

now I'm not so sure


Sleeping comes so naturally to me,

I could do it with my eyes closed


What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Nothing - but it let out a little whine


What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?

A Thesaurus

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