BAD EATING HABITS

A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter’s strange eating habits.
–“All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?”
–“Eventually,” said the consultant, â€œshe will rise and shine.”

Cosmetic surgery

A sign on a cosmetic surgery clinics says:
“If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons.”

Healthy living tips

Question: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
Answer: Only if you aim it well enough.

What’s the Best Type of Doctor?

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter – he’s got to just know.
– Will Rogers

What a Spectacle

Q: Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine?
A: He made a spectacle of himself

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During residency, I got paged at 3AM to the SICU. I called them, a bit curious as to what was going on, as 3AM calls to the neurologist rarely come from the SICU.

When I introduced myself as the on-call neurologist, the very southern-sounding nurse loudly exclaimed:

“Neurology? I wanted Urology. I got the wrong end!”

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