A boy returns home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, “What did you learn today?”
“Not enough,” he  replies. “They said I have to go back tomorrow.

Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ?
Pupil: I get up early !

Teacher: Andrew, where is your homework?
Pupil I ate it.
Teacher: Why?!
Pupil: You said it was piece of cake!

Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
She had bright students!

Who the king of all school stationery?
The ruler.

What food do math teachers eat?
Square meals!

Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!

Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window?
He wanted to see time fly.

Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!

Why would a music teacher might need a ladder?
The reach the high notes.

Why is a math book always unhappy?
Because it always has lots of problems

What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?
He has only one pupil.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9

What is a math teacher’s favorite food?
Pi!

Pupil: Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Pupil: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

What is snake’s favorite subject?
Hiss-tory!

Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8

What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
Bookworms!

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