Did you hear about the guy in Paris who almost got away with stealing several
paintings from the Louvre? After planning the crime, getting in and out past
security, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline ran out of
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious
error, he replied: "Monsieur, I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van
And you thought I lacked De Gaulle to tell a such a story.
On a visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, I was standing near two women who were admiring a painting. One of the women remarked: What a beautiful painting. I wonder who the artist was? The other volunteered to find out and walked over to read the wall plaque beside it. She reported that the painting had been done by Circa, in 1878. Oh, the first woman said, of course, Circa the Greek. No, the second woman replied. Youíre thinking of Zorba. Circa was Italian
A man calls a house and a young boy answers the phone. 'HELLO, YOUNG MAN, COULD I SPEAK WITH YOUR FATHER PLEASE. "
'no, he's busy", answers the boy, in a quiet whisper.
'OK, THEN, COULD I SPEAK WITH YOUR MOTHER, PLEASE'.
'no, shes busy too', he whispers.
'IS THERE ANYONE ELSE IN THE HOUSE I COULD SPEAK TO THEN'
' yes, theres the firemen',
Puzzled the man says, 'WELL, OK, COULD I SPEAK WITH THEM',
',no, theyre busy also', whispers the boy'
'THEN, PLEASE COULD YOU GET ANYONE ELSE'
'well, yes, there are the policemen', in a whisper.
'AND IS THERE ANY REMOTE CHANCE I COULD SPEAK WITH ANY OF THEM?'
'no, they are busy too', in hushed tones.
The man sighs frustrated and says, 'YOUNG MAN, WHAT ON EARTH ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING IN YOUR HOME?'
The wee lad replies in a whisper, 'they're looking for meeee'.