Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?
Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?"
"Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

Teacher: Where is the English Channel?
Pupil: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up.

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!

Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?
Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted Mark Antony!

What was Camelot?
A place where people parked their camels!

Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!

1st Roman Soldier: What is the time?
2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII!

Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!

Why did Arthur have a round table?
So no one could corner him!

Who invented King Arthur's round table?
Sir Circumference!

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